Are People Around You Doing Great – But You Are Not? Three Suggestions to Move Through Negative Feelings

What happens when the people around you are doing very well, but you aren’t? Is it easy for you to feel happy for them, joyous in their good fortune, and pleased with their success? Or, is it more like you experience the feelings of worry, jealousy, envy, and other not-such-great emotions? You might even be wondering what is the matter with you that others seem to be doing well, but you aren’t.

We all tend to compare ourselves with others. It’s not unusual then, that when others are seemingly doing great, we can sometimes see ourselves as ‘less than,’ and that doesn’t feel too pleasant. If it were easy to just shake that off, then you probably wouldn’t be reading this article. Here are three suggestions for what you can do to move past the upset you may be feeling:

a. Be willing to ask others how they are doing. Although some people may say, “great,” it’s actually not true. So, your perception that everyone else is in dandy shape may be a false perception. In other cases, others are REALLY doing great. Be willing to have a few conversations with people you trust to ask them what they think most contributes to feeling that ‘all is well’ for them. Ask with the real intention of gaining knowledge and wisdom from them. See what you learn.

b. When the green-eyed monster shows up (and he does) and we feel envy get the image of the amount of mental, emotional, and spiritual energy that this guy is chomping through in you. Envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins and there’s a reason for that. To me, of all the 7, this one is the most debilitating – not that the others look too great – but I know the times in my life that envy shows up, it has not been pretty. Since energy is one of my most important values, I don’t want to be letting the green-eyed monster of envy drain off energy. I call him out and move on. Sometimes this is easy and other times, it takes more effort…but I’ve never felt that was squandered effort.

c. Focus on moving forward with something. If you are feeling ‘not so great’ and you have been feeling this way for awhile, you need to move out of that and action is one way. Take one action that is a positive step. It can be little. Think of the inchworm. She’s not making rapid progress, but she’s progressing. That’s what you want to do. As Jonathan Winters said,

 “I couldn’t wait for success… so I went ahead without it.”

You are entitled to your emotions – and you want to get to the more positive ones as quickly as you can. It feels much better there.

And if you are well aware that you – or those around you – are freaked-out to one degree or another and you can see that it is taking a toll, then you’re invited to join the Staying Positive Society where you can access tools for yourself or your team.  We have a positive group and would love to have you join us!

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